


Loss and Gain

by LittleMissDreamHeart



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Childhood Friends, post- TFA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 15:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5670157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissDreamHeart/pseuds/LittleMissDreamHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the battle Poe is watching over Finn when Leia asks if she could talk to him about a few things concerning her son, and Poe's childhood friend, Ben.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loss and Gain

It was three days after Rey had left and Finn still hadn’t woken up. Poe hadn’t been able to stay with him the whole time, there was too much work to do in the aftermath of the destruction of Starkiller Base, but Poe always tried to sit with the former Stormtrooper when he could, and sent BB-8 in his place when he couldn’t.

It was sitting by Finn that General Organa found him, talking about the new modifications he was making to his X-Wing, Black One. The medics had said that sometimes talking can help draw people out of comas like the one Finn was in.

‘Poe.’

Poe looked up and nodded. ‘General.’

‘I’m off-duty, Poe.’

‘Leia.’

The General smiled softly, a smile Poe has known almost all his life. Even without the stories his parents told him, Leia Organa and her family were frequent visitors to the Dameron home on Yavin 4. When Poe’s mother had died Leia had promised Kes Dameron that she would give any help that they needed for Poe’s future. Now Poe was the greatest pilot in the Resistance and a trusted agent of the General’s, but he could remember being ten years old, running around the tree in his parents’ garden with Ben and playing at being Jedi with large sticks for lightsabers.

Ben.

The two had been inseparable whenever they were together, and were the bane of anybody left to watch over them. The day that Ben had visited to say that he’d be going to train as a Jedi with his uncle had been one of mixed emotions. Poe was happy that his friend was finally going to be a Jedi like he’d always wanted, but he knew that he was going to miss Ben like a sharp ache in his chest.

Then a few years later he’d heard about the Jedi Massacre at the hands of someone called Kylo Ren, and Ben’s name was listed amongst the dead. Poe had been devastated, not talking to anyone for days. Revenge wasn’t the Jedi way, but Poe wasn’t a damn Jedi and he wanted nothing more than to wipe the scum that had killed his friend off the face of the galaxy.

‘Everything alright, Poe?’

Poe shook himself out of his memories. ‘Sorry, just lost in thought.’

‘You haven’t been sleeping well.’ It wasn’t a question.

‘A lot’s been happening.’

Leia nodded. ‘Can I have a word Poe? In private.’

‘Sure.’ Poe got up and followed the General, signalling BB-8 to stay with Finn. It was dinner time and most people were in the mess hall or personal quarters. Leia led Poe into a small meeting room. She gestured for Poe to take a seat and sat down opposite him.

‘Leia, before anything else, I haven’t had a chance to say I’m really sorry about Han.’ Rey had told them exactly what happened with Kylo Ren on the bridge. Now the General had lost both her son and the love of her life to that madman. It made Poe’s blood boil.

‘Thank you. That’s partially what I wanted to talk to you about. There’s certain information that hasn’t been made common knowledge, but I think that given recent events such as what happened on Starkiller Base and your own capture by the First Order you deserve to know.’

Poe straightened up. ‘What is it?’

‘You know about what happened at the Jedi Massacre; that Kylo Ren killed all of the other apprentices under Luke’s care, including Ben.’ Leia flinched as though in pain, and it was then that Poe noticed how tired and worn out she looked. Clearly he wasn’t the only one who’d been having trouble sleeping.

Poe nodded.

‘Poe, Ben wasn’t killed by Kylo Ren. Ben is Kylo Ren.’

Poe felt the bottom of his stomach drop out and his blood freeze.

‘What?’

‘I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, but it’s true. Ben....he was seduced to the dark side by Snoke.’

‘No,’ Poe was vaguely aware that he’d gotten out of his seat and was pacing. ‘No, no, no, no, that’s not.....that can’t be......so Han....’ It couldn’t be true. He couldn’t believe that the sweet little boy who followed him around everywhere, the one who couldn’t tell a lie to save his life, was now one of the most evil men in the galaxy and had killed his own father. How could he do this? How could he?

Poe suddenly remembered the torture, the burning feeling of having Kylo - Ben? - ripping through his mind. He wanted to vomit.

A cool hand was on his cheek. Poe realised that Leia was holding his face.

‘Poe, calm down. Please.’

Poe took a deep breath. As much as Ben’s betrayal hurt him, what he was going through was nothing compared to Leia. He drew her gently into a hug.

‘I’m sorry Leia, I can’t even imagine....’

‘I still don’t want to think that he’s lost forever, even now. Snoke is the one who did this, the one who took Ben away from the light side. He’s the real enemy.’

Part of Poe wanted to argue, to say that it was just wishful thinking. But Leia wasn’t just anyone, she had The Force. It was possible that she could see or sense something that was beyond Poe’s capabilities, and he found himself hoping that she was right, that maybe his friend wasn’t gone forever.

He slowly broke away from the hug. ‘Thank you for telling me.’

‘I’m not sure what is going to happen, but if Rey is successful in bringing Luke home, I want to take the fight directly to Snoke. The First Order is weaker now that we’ve destroyed their main weapon. When that happens I want you to help them. But I understand if what happened to you-’

Poe spoke with utter surety. ‘I’ll do whatever you need me to.’ He wasn’t sure how he’d feel if he saw Kylo? - Ben? - Kylo? again, but he’d do what he could. ‘And until then if you ever need to talk to someone just come find me.’

Leia nodded. ‘Thank you Poe. Now go get some sleep.’

Poe scoffed lightly. ‘I will if you will, General.’

Leia said nothing, but dismissed him with a light wave of her hand.

Poe knew that he needed sleep, but instead of his quarters he found his feet taking him back to the med centre. He made his way to Finn’s room, where BB-8 was still by the bedside, whistling and chirping softly. Poe smiled despite the heavy feeling that was over him. BB-8 knew that Finn didn’t understand Astromech, but that didn’t stop the little droid from trying to help. He sat down in the chair and gave BB-8 and affectionate pat on the head.

‘Hey Finn. Sorry I had to run off like that, the General wanted to talk to me.’ He studied Finn’s face for any kind of chance or movement. There was nothing. ‘Have I ever told you about when I was growing up on Yavin 4? I’m gonna have to take you there one day, you and Rey both. It’s beautiful.’

Poe sighed.

‘I used to have this friend back then. His name is Ben.’

**Author's Note:**

> This idea wouldn't leave me alone. I might change the title, I don't really know if I like it.
> 
> It wasn't intended to be shippy, hence no tags, but if you want to read this as either Poe/Finn or Poe/Ben Solo or both, then I'm more than happy for you to.
> 
> Comments are always appreciated


End file.
